Passively or Actively Waiting

Change is in the air: my family unit will be moving from the Midwest to the Southwest in the New Year.  The various decisions that need to be made in the next two months are causing me anxiety and I just want to get everything figured out and finished up! Unfortunately there are a few things that need to happen first, and so now we are in this awkward moving purgatory.  This has gotten me thinking about the different types of waiting.

Frequently, I am guilty of the sort of waiting that is really procrastination: "I'll wait until my life is more settled before I start that project." or  "Once this happens, I'll do that." In those cases, the delay is because of me, perhaps because I'm struggling with my mental health, or just my tendency to over-extend myself with largely pointless projects. Still, with procrastination it is ultimately up to me. 

However, right now we're waiting on things outside of our control.  There are things that we can do while we're waiting, but we can't take the next step quite yet. It reminds me of a scripture in Doctrine and Covenants 123.  In the last verse it says, "Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed."  Cheerfully doing much of anything when you're filled with anxiety is a bit of a challenge, but that is why I find comfort in Psalm 27:14: "Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord."

Being forced to wait on plan implementation really makes me re-evaluate all the times I procrastinate things. Procrastination is really just taking for granted the time you've been given. Looking at averages, I should have at least forty years of life to go, but there are no guarantees.  We have right now; we have hope and plans for more, but that doesn't mean anything.  So what is most important for me to be doing?  What should I be spending my limited time and efforts on?  How much of my time am I going to continue to waste on passively waiting for life to happen to me?  Seriously, what am I doing with my life?

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